Over a year in Bins, and what it taught me.
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I put a hair curler in my vagina, while crying. I told my mom to listen.
How far I went from the bullying.
I experienced a bark, as I went to the plumpskloh in the middle of the night. I had heard a forest rave on the way there, thought it was celebrating me.
About getting my own fart dog. They say the nose of a pug is very short for this. But that it is possible.
"Think about all at the amusement park!" I thought the sudden rain was my fault.
Because of first starving for a while, then bingeing. Went to hospital for it.
Still super socially weird. I was processing this huge cloud of I-don't-know-what. But I had more fun than I've had in a long time!
Snorted it. Fantastic second, then horrible. Never again, we agreed. But I can't remember what was so terrible. Maybe I must refresh my memory, by asking my friend, alternatively trying it one more time.
With mom <3
With my Audrey painting. I thought it was some code.
They said they were seeing my retina.
Posted about how you get good if you shine good. Karma, whatever you call it, pure logics.
I gathered all my pills and played with the thought of eating them, so the spirits would have to rescue me.
By my nose. To cope with the terrible fart smell hallucination (?).
With my dear bro. I heard him speak to me through the loudspeaker, and also other voices, saying nobody wants to have sex with their bro, and that they understood that I didn't. So stupid this whole thing, starting from the stupid Empathy Game in my loneliness.
Here actively. Also by the times of Bin #3.
I played with something white in the air.
Like they'd have put fart spray all over the bar. I took soap on my hand and breathed through it.
I wrote this. If they take my freedom, I thought I at least should get of their mindbender offer. I do prefer to sm*ke, this is not the same, but it's the best they have given me.
Hosted by Nikkos voice.
I was checking all options, he wanted to stay in an igloo hotel, but they're crazy expensive.
Date not certain.
Started on these books.
Mostly alone smoking weed. Too stupid for conversations. Trying to compensate lack of life with food.
With Knut. Row dancing in Pärnu and medieval festival in Viljandi. Saved William from sleeping on the street in Tallinn.
Tattooed.
Aina's bachelorette party!
Worst month of my life. Ate under 500 kcal/day, trained 1200-1800 kcal/day. Spent the evenings high and alone.
With Ísindaell. I was retarded.Rielle got pissed as I wouldn't kiss him, and wanted to send me home. Then he promised to get me a new ticket, later, which he never did. Mom bought my ticket home.
Ísindaell, to that I've had sex with spirits.
Said Ísindaell.
Seen by Ísindaell. Not my brightest period. It's bad, they say. (Jaanie).
He wanted me home because of that. Later, he told me to stay, as he wanted Ísindaell. He told me he'd book my return ticket, which was a lie for Ísindaell to stay.
Ísindaell, when I had a "it's all a game"-realization. I had the tiniest pupils despite the mindbenders.
I found the underground parties.
My ultimate low
Amcik
I had great speed for weight loss. The drug dog was very interested, but I scratched him, and passed.
Listening to In Trnace 95 and Hori Julkkonen.
Tantra festival with Mick. Didn't go because of fatness and gonorrhea.
Blomko Jou. He gave me his thoughts and some exercises about "grounding".
I took 3.
At mine. Played him lots. I thought an event picture was hinting about this. They still have this in their picture. I thought the dude might be Pespa. Pespa is hotter!
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